“Learn to say no!” is advice we often hear. Yet, like many good pieces of advice, it eventually gets forgotten. Later, when faced with unpleasant consequences, we realize it might have been wiser to follow it. But why is saying no so difficult?
Why Is Saying No So Hard?
Saying no is indeed challenging. Often, the polite “thank you, but no” doesn’t get said, or if it does, it doesn’t seem to have any effect. However, if we feel the urge to say no, it’s never a coincidence. Something feels off, or even downright wrong. That’s why we don’t want to go along with it. But simply saying no isn’t enough.
We need to understand why we are saying no. Without a clear reason, our decision might falter, and we won’t be able to stand firm. The question, “Why no?” will inevitably come up, and we need to answer it confidently. Our response must be firm and certain: “I don’t want this because it’s not good for me.” That simple and honest reply should be enough to ensure others respect our decision.
If the other person continues to push, the problem lies not with us, but with their attitude. Such people don’t respect our boundaries; they see us as tools to achieve their goals. They don’t engage with us but instead try to use us. This isn’t something we can reason with – the only solution is to consistently and firmly say no.
It Can’t Be Both Good and Bad
Something is either good or bad. It cannot be both at the same time.
If we fail to recognize where the problem lies within ourselves, life will keep sending us people and situations to point it out. We can say no to them, but it won’t help because that refusal won’t change the underlying issue. The only way to resolve seemingly unrelated problems is to address them together. This doesn’t mean that if we end our problematic relationship, then the ideal partner will appear the next day. It means that by understanding the mistakes and the areas where we struggles to say no, we will learn to act differently and grow as a person.
The Right Time to Say No
We should say no, not when we are already neck-deep in a problem but at the first sign of it. It’s far easier to avoid a negative situation than to escape from one. That doesn’t mean we can’t change our mind later, but by that time, we’ve already endured unnecessary pain and discomfort.
Many say that every experience teaches us something, but that doesn’t mean we are obligated to suffer through hardships. Learning to say no allows us to choose a path that avoids unnecessary struggles. After all, no one is required to endure difficulties – it’s a voluntary practice.
Source: https://www.analogmodszer.hu/